Well I had mentioned in the group the other day how I missed bowling and everyone said I should go so today I did. My friend took me down for the purpose of hanging out and having some fun so I appreciate that however, I kind of had an emotional moment. Today I realized that trying to bowl is now pushing my limits... I have bowled several times since I was diagnosed and sure I may not have been as good as I used to be but I was still OK at it and I didn't feel like I was pushing myself too far. This time I sucked at it compared to how I used to bowl and after just 2 games I was exhausted and in pain. My fingers, my forearms, my elbows, and my shoulders. Even my legs got a few shooting pains here and there. I took a Norco a while ago but it's not doing anything.
At first I was worried about my balance but it actually was not an issue at all but what was an issue was my strength and coordination. The ball felt so heavy! Even when I switched to an 11 pound house ball (which I remember using in the past to see how fast I could launch the ball down the lane just for the heck of it) I felt like I was lifting weights and needed a spotter! Towards the end of my last game it was getting to the point where my wrist was just collapsing at random under the weight... I was so frustrated especially because we were right next to a lane full of older guys who knew what they were doing and it sucks because I know that in my prime I could have beat them all but now I could barely hit 100, it was embarrassing...
So I started feeling depressed... I can no longer do something that I used to be really good at. I don't have the fine motor skills to spin the ball just right to make it do what I wanted it to do. But as I was thinking about "poor me" I saw a guy roll by in a wheel chair, his legs were crippled, but he was still doing his thing and I have to realize that though I may not be as good as I used to be I could still go bowling. I can stand and throw a ball and get a score that most "non-bowlers" would be happy to get so I should be glad that I can even do that. It's just frustrating when you can't do something you used to be able to do all the time, your watching yourself mess up when in your head your thinking "but I used to be able to do this no problem".
I am sure if I practiced at it enough I could get better and once I get on some kind of treatment maybe my limit won't be so sensitive. Who knows? I just had one of those moment you know? But now that I have really thought about it I am ready to take in a deep breath and resume my day and take care of business. I just hope this pain clears up a bit, might have to take a cold bath or something, not fun, but some people feel that it helps, I do, it has helped me in the past. UGH forgot to mention, my right arm has been tremoring this whole time as well, not fun! I'll be OK though, I'll be just fine, no room for complaining!